Not a good time for a baby

I dreamt of you and Geneva
And the parquet floor my feet never touched
And the lake
And your love I never quite believed I deserved

So I ran from it
In the dream and back then

When I met you, I was almost just a kid
I remember you as… Perfect
I wonder if you think of me at all
I search your name, but, like my grandfather whom I never met
Your name is words so common they function as platonic ideals, not identifiers

I loved you and I did my best
But I have my regrets

In my apartment, I believe
I have the ultrasound
I write about Switzerland
I wonder, what if